I put up an ad in craig's list boston with the following text:
is boston boring or is it just me?
Reply to: anon-18982321@craigslist.org
Date: 2003-11-07, 10:49PM
hi,
i moved to cambridge recently from new york and i can't seem to get anything fun going around here. it all just seems so boring. is it just me?
maybe the problem is that i don't really know anyone around here. but everyone looks so cold or in love with themselves (or both). and also people here will never look you in the eyes. when you do make eye-contact, the response varies from a scared half-hearted smile to an embarrassed "i'm sorry".
so - what's the secret to fun boston? getting married?
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
this is in or around cambridge
18982321
within minutes (craigslist is the real world!) i got quite a lot of responses
i omitted any identifying details from these emails because i know that some people have privacy issues. if you have written one of these emails and would like your post removed, please let me know and i will do so immediately.
i don't think it's just you.
i've been here about a month and half and i've noticed the same thing.
i hope things turn up for you.
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moved here in Feb--Boston is full of cold people --yes but u need to make some friends and then there is PLENTY to do----i know it can be tough--Craigs is a great place to start--what part of NY?? i am from NJ..
what do you like to do for fun? yes, boston/cambridge is fairly cold , you have to be really out going to meet people here.
i have lived here my whole life. i go back & forth about my feelings for this place. it is a very convenient city though.
let me know if you have any questions.
peace,
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Hi,
I live in Boston for a long time and I know what you are saying. It must be the ice age. Anyhow, are you a guy or a gal? I am a guy, 27 always looking for someone to hang out with, especially a gal.
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You've got it totally right about Boston people. They're just not very friendly. People basically socialize only with their friends and ignore everyone else. So if you're walking on the streets, you want to flash a friendly smile at someone, you won't get their chance cause they will walk right by you and make sure to look past your face so that their eyes never meet yours. I've visited New York and people there are much friendlier so I am very jealous of my friends who live there.
Hate to break it to you, but Boston does suck and is very boring. Let me put it this way-It is 1:19 AM and I went out tonight and I'm sitting here writing to you. I grew up in NH and know tons of people in the city and definately could be classified as someone who goes out way too much. Regardless-Boston tends to be stuck up and lame-I'm always bored and the peace corp looks more and more appealing each day. So why am I still here....I haven't found any place that offers most of the things that are important to me....I have too many connections here to start over.
Wish you all the best. Boston is definately not NY.
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I don't know if you are a guy or a girl...but basically I feel the same way about Boston....been here for like three months, and have not been able to really meet new people or check out the depths of the city....
sorta sucks.
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Hi-
I grew up around here, moved to new york and then moved back.. Its hard to have fun in Boston (thus the over importance of sports and the profileration of annoying die hard -red sox fans.).
I feel your pain.. Not really a good art town either. And it shuts down early.
Its all still very puritian.
I think marriage is fun for women not for guys.. Initially, and then its fun for noone, just comfortable. I don't know which you are but never mind.
Hi,
I saw your ad on Craigslist, and I found the same
thing when I moved back here from NYC. Getting
martried might be a secret as after I broke up my
fiance things seemed a lot slower.
Anyway Im a 38 year old guy, well educated
professional, into working out, the art scene etc.. I
would enjoy increasing my cirle of friends, maybe just
to hang out, see a movie or hit the bookstores.
Let me know what you are thinking.
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It is most definitely NOT just you. I just moved from NYC (from the Bronx,
been living in the West Village) and I could have written your post myself!
I'm 34, F, recently separated. I don't care what you are, at least I know
I'm not going crazy.
I think making eye contact is NOT a New England thing. In NYC, I locked eyes
with just about everybody and here people are much colder. No, the secret is
not to get married (unless of course it's really the right thing). Been
there, done that. There's a lot to do here and loads of young cookie-cutter
"attractive" people but I'm bored already (just got here in October).
Plus I'm a crazed Yankees fan and had to live with Red Sox mania (luckily we
won the ALCS and the Sox fan shut the hell up). It's bad enough I live in
Fenway.
Where are you from in NY?
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Hey,
No mistake, Boston SUUUUUUUXXXXXXXX. Extremely boring, expensive for no
reason, full of cold people, anal retentive, and yes marriage is your only
salvation here!!! LMAO!!!
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sounds like you have had quite the experience. i never thought someone coming from ny would say we are cold and unfriendly, unless you are not from nyc. but i agree, boston is tough to break into when you are by yourself. its based mostly on groups of college friends or coworkers. people freak out if you just approach them. but everyone feels the same way and they all wish it was easier to meet people. quite the irony.
omigod, i read your post and could not agree with you more. i just
moved to boston two months ago from washington dc, and everyone here is
SO MEAN! : ) i really haven't met people because no one wants to get
to know someone new, and no one is all that friendly... anyway, i just
wanted to say that i feel your pain! : )
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hey, just had to respond to your posting... i moved here from new york two years ago and went through a massive round of fun lifestyle withdrawl before finally settling in here. so i've had a long time to consider the exact question you're asking. the key is that you have to either really want or have to be here. if you really loved new york it's gonna take some time- and a lot of trips back and forth- to finally 'get' this city. basically, people in boston just aren't programmed like new yorkers- they pride themselves on being really down to earth (meek/humble) and are wary of interpersonal communication- i'm not kidding. there's this wicked (to use some local parlance) inferiority complex going on here and it prevents people from really feeling great about where they're at. it's a really provincial and mildly xenophobic attitude. but this is all in the collective se! nse- most people you ask will tell you they love it here- but they're also probably petrified and/or horrified to live in a city like manhattan. so you've got to focus on why it's better to live here which includes cheaper rent, the ability to have a car, and a generally less intense lifestyle (most people actually leave work at around 5pm here). it's sort of like, if you're tired of the itensity and 'rat race' of new york, boston is a nice downgrade. but what you're giving up is decent theatre, and really all things culturally new and interesting, and the somehow equalizing effect of a culture built on the pursuit of wealth (ny) as opposed to intellect (boston). to help ease the transition, check out mantra on temple place or the bar at chez henri in cambridge. also meetup.com has a local group for ex-newyorkers. :)
alright,
take care,
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hey,
you moved from nyc? i recently moved from the midwest. my bf lives
here. . . currently job searching. late 20s. i've been in boston for
about a month now. i've visited few times before moving but i can't
really say that my fondness for the city has grown. madison,
wisconsin is much smaller (250,000) but there's more stuff going on
here, i think. things close pretty early except for bars/clubs.
there's virtually no 24 hr. places around here. . . news is one of
the very few late night places.
i know two friends in boston besides my bf, but they're busy with
school. (grad school in harvard). one of them tells me that once i
get a job, make few friends and settle in more, i'll like boston
more.
how long have you been in boston? boston is apparently the ugly
cousin compared to nyc. you can always take the chinatown bus to nyc
for $20 roundtrip. . .
best,
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I saw your post on Craigslist and was amused... I too just moved here from NYC a couple of months ago and live in Cambridge. It's definitely different (ie: the subway closes!), but I've noticed some positive things. Retail workers are kinder, people move more slowly, and there's a whole lot less stress. Other than that, I'm still looking for cool things to do.
As a Southerner, I can definitely state from
experience that New Englanders can be a
bit...um...shall we say....RESERVED!
There are things to do, however. A few of us who
recently met on Craig's List are trying to get a
dinner group together, for example. Just to meet for
dinner and/or drinks, meet new people, and try out new
restaurants. We would welcome new additions.
Were you previously in NYC? My wife and I lived in the
area for two years (Long Island), and I loved it.
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For someone who only recently moved here, I was surprised to read that you had discovered the major secret to fun in Boston... it is in fact getting married. Once you become married, a whole world is opened up to you that you never have had access to otherwise. Like exclusive living room concerts from major recording acts like Hall and Oates and Kenny Rogers. Have you ever heard of these concerts? Of course not. Because they are secret! Then there are the special shopping hours at stores like Restoration Hardware and Crate and Barrel. Do you think that married people in the area have such nicely decorated homes because they earn high salaries? How naive! They get it all for free. And the single people pay inflated prices on goods to subsidize this.
Do you see why people never look you in the eyes? It is because they know you are not one of them. People aren't aloof by nature. They are merely lost in thoughts of how wonderful it is to be married and how much they benefit at the expense of us singletons.
Very few of us outside the circle of marriagedom are aware of this. So be careful with your knowledge.
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I'm afraid you've identified the coldest thing about New England. Welcome. There really are friendly people here, but you have to look for them and they're generally transplants.
If you find the key to social contact, let me know. I've been here 17 years, and am still trying to build a personal community of nice, interesting, friendly people who actually make time for hanging out with friends.