28.05.04
nowhere to return to
got culturally depressed last night by a blog entry + comments on a strangely popular blog called "plain layne". layne goes through a difficult breakup with her ex-girlfriend, but chooses to spend only two paragraphs on her emotions and these, too, are viewed through a materialistic prism: "her car", "her cardboard boxes", "her crates of vintage vinyl". what about her smile? her touch? her smell?
then the rest of the entry talks only about rent, loans, cars, plastic, power of attorney, 401K, checks and wallets. and this is the girl she wanted to marry! and the commenting crowd is piping the same tunes.
i'm aware that i'm probably biased by my mood, but this morning i just feel like i don't belong. to alleviate the pressure, i went to the common room and tuned into the israeli tv station. what a state of affairs it must be when i turn to israeli culture for some normality...
obviously it didn't take long for me to realize that i don't really belong there either (anymore?). so i basically have nowhere to go back to. immigration sucks today.
to quote ehud banai:
משהו התחיל לכרסם בי
כבר מאוחר מדי
עכשיו כבר לא כדאי
אין לאן לחזור, צריך להמשיך וללכת
i started to get that gnawing feeling
it's too late
now there's no point anymore
there's nowhere to return to, you just have to keep on walking
my new 10-year dream is to make a movie about immigration.
also someone told me that my blog was not personal enough. so there.
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content here by guy hoffman .. as seen times since march 2004
Fri, 28 May 2004 10:20
:( sorry you're feeling discouraged. a friend of mine in grad school who moved here from africa made a short film on this topic. he felt out of place both here and there. but he did move back to africa.
- cynthia
Mon, 31 May 2004 20:14
I think your 10 year dream is fabulous. here in honduras i don´t think that i´ve ever heard one of my neighbors talk about ´solidad´or that state of not belonging. i´m interested in going back to the states and meeting their family members who went mojado to see if they have encountered the feeling yet.
- daniela
Mon, 31 May 2004 20:19
mi primita! to run into you here of all places. i'm so happy to see you soon.
- guy