some words to not

minimal spoilers. nothing to be scared of.

went to see shrek 2 for the social event, and basically stayed until the credits to not ride the t back alone.

ok, i also like animation.

there seem to have been two scriptwriters at work. a computer and a sitcom writer.

the computer was responsible for the storyline and was basically asked - based on all the stories it knew - what the most predictable thing to happen next would be. the program would then average over all the fairy tales in the world and find out what the next plot point is according to its highest probability, i.e. what have we seen most often happen after event x?

like after the king hires a hitman? the king apologizes to the victim and offers to meet him in the forest. and then? what happens after the hitman gets there? he becomes friends with the victim. you don't want to shock any of your viewers, now do you?

now some of you post-modernists will say: shrek comments on fairy tales etc etc. yeah, right. i say: it's all about not taking risks in the story department. see: finding nemo. it's like hotel furniture.

then the other scriptwriter got this horrible storyline and had to make the best out of it, and he (or she) did.

as bad as the plot is, there are hordes of great moments in the movie (all of which have, of course, been revealed in the trailer, but we'll get to that later). the voice acting is great and tons of shots are not only well staged but also smart and funny, and are certain to make you smile.

the lighting and modeling was great, and to keep in line with the mini-review format, just one short note on animation (although there's much to say about that):

see, i understand that you let an intern animate the little poodle. and here's something i didn't know about poodles: apparently their legs are made out of water-filled rubber.

but princess fiona? don't you want to put someone who knows how to animate a character in charge of the heroine? in most scenes she moves like a marshmallow that's being subjected to multi-g force. i have a few words for you which i'm sure your animation teacher must have told you when you were sleeping off that hangover in class: determined, point-to-point, hold the pose, anticipation, make it look like she's being moved from the inside.

and finally: that's it! no more trailers for me. when i'm ready to see the movie, i will. you'll know when i'm ready by the fact that i asked for a ticket to that specific movie.

i've already shortly ranted three months ago about it, but i'll say it again: there's no point in showing all the good shots in the trailer. we'll just be disappointed by the movie itself for not bringing any extra value for those $10. if you gotta make a trailer, do it like garden state. virtually no written or spoken words, and despite the bad actors, it makes me want to see it.

but who am i kidding - this is just a teaser and they'll come out with the all-revealing trailer at some point. i hope i won't be there to see it.